I once had a self deprecating belief that if I stood in my power, expressed my authentic self, and fully believed in myself I would be hated and rejected. Then one day it suddenly dawned on me to ponder the question, is that actually true? … And the answer to that question is no, it’s not. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I found that when you decide to actually stand in your power, accept yourself, and embody who you truly are; you actually start to receive more love, support, and fulfillment, not only from the those who truly love you, but also within yourself. Here are 10 powerful tips that helped me reclaim my self confidence, that will surely help you reclaim yours.
1. Stop Rejecting Yourself
People pick up what you’re putting down. So if you’re rejecting yourself internally, people are going to reject you. But more than that, when you reject yourself, you subconsciously tell yourself that who you are isn’t acceptable and worthy of love. In order to fully love and accept yourself, you have to create an internal environment capable of holding space for all of who you are, including both your darkness and light. Release the habit of self rejection and embrace the habit of self acceptance; regardless of what you were conditioned to believe is good or lovable.
2. Take Up Space
Start to take up space in the world that is rightfully yours, and remind yourself of the simple fact that you are, and always were, worthy all along. You are worthy of belonging, you are worthy of being seen, and you are lovable and enough exactly as you are. So stop hiding yourself due to a limiting belief that you aren’t worthy or good enough yet. You are worthy now, and you are enough now. Nothing outside of yourself will ever make you more worthy than you already are in the present moment, despite what we’ve been taught to believe. So claim your space like the amazing person you are.
3. Embrace Imperfection
No one is perfect, and you didn’t come here to be perfect. You came here to be human. You came to learn and grow through the imperfect human experience that is humanity. Embracing your imperfection, and seeing this as an opportunity to grow and expand, rather than a limiting fault to be hidden and suppressed, is key to confidence. When we hold space to love and embrace imperfection within ourselves, we create space to love and accept imperfection within others. This is what enables us to have compassion, and create greater intimacy within our relationships, including the relationship with yourself.
4. Own Your Truth
Show up in your truth, and know that you are always worthy of love and respect. Whatever your truth is needs to be honored, whether it be the truth about who you love, what you desire, what you believe, or who you really are. Stand in it. Your truth matters, and you standing in it inspires others to do the same. So make the decision. Decide to be bold, and to fully embrace yourself, including your darkness and light. Express it as an acceptable and normal part of being human, because it is, and do so confidently. We lead by example. Through this, you not only tell yourself that I am enough and worthy of receiving love, but also that I am imperfect, allowed to be imperfect, and still lovable exactly as I am. Your power is your truth, honor it.
5. Embrace Self Confidence Regardless of Who’s Around
When you are confident and honor who you are, people respond. People will sense it on a subconscious level. Know that this internal shift will draw the right people in and repel others, and that is okay. Not everyone is going to be aligned with your vibration, and not everyone is going to be ready to hold space for the fullness of who you are. Let go of what you know intuitively needs to be released when the time feels right.
You’ll magnetize new and empowering connections to you, because you attract what you are. The right people will be inspired, uplifted, and empowered by your confidence and presence. It will inspire them to reconnect with that same sense of confidence and personal power, but within themselves. So ultimately your choice to love and accept yourself empowers others to instill self love and self acceptance within themselves. You lead by example. Show up in the world grounded in your truth, and let your energy ripple out.
6. Let Criticism and Disapproval Roll Off You
Those who are not pursuing a path of self development and conscious healing will likely be repelled. They might be intimidated by you, reject you, or maybe even criticize you; because subconsciously you remind them of the unhealed wounds and limiting beliefs that exist unaddressed within themselves. But in all honesty, when you make the choice to unapologetically love, accept, and embrace yourself fully, you don’t really give as many shits as you did before. And the more you fall in love with yourself, the less shits you give. Because being who you truly are and feeling the deep sense of love and acceptance you cultivate for yourself, is greater than anyone else’s validation. And so the shits keep dropping, like flies. Let em’ fly.
7. Be Patient With Yourself
Yes, sometimes it’s hurts, especially in the beginning; and the egotistical, conditioned, people pleaser side of yourself is gonna be like damn, why don’t they like me? That’s normal. It takes time to stop valuing the external validation you were conditioned to value. In the meantime, know that the stronger, more powerful, authentic part of yourself knows that you didn’t come here to be validated. You came here to be who you truly are, and to live a life that feels authentic to you.
So honor the truth of who you are in the present moment. You came to share the gift of your authentic self with the world. You didn’t come to hide, or to pretend to be someone you’re not. Because the part of you that is emerging is rooted more deeply than any fear or limiting belief you’ve held. The confident part of you is grounded in true unconditional self love and self worth. And that part of you, knows that their happiness and truth is worth more than anyone’s approval could ever buy. And so you move on.
You continue to stand tall. You continue to see, accept, and embrace the imperfections of your humanity. And you continue to hold space for the moments when you may not feel fully aligned with your power, strength, or truth. You’re human, you’re not going to be perfect, and you’re still just as worthy of love in those moments too. So forgive yourself when it happens, intend to do better, and keep moving forward. Just keep moving further into alignment with your authentic self, because this is what true confidence is grounded in, authenticity.
8. Do Things That Feel Authentic to You
Do things that make you feel like you. Express in ways that feel authentic to you, the real you. Rediscover who you are, and have fun with it. It’s easy to forget who you are after years of hiding, dulling, or molding yourself to meet other people’s standard of who they think you should be. So do the things that make you feel more you.
Do things that make you feel free, powerful, joyful, and alive. Do the things that make you feel like you’re finally breathing; that give you a sense of nourishment and rejuvenation. This will help bring you back to who you truly are. And remember you don’t have to be defined by your past, or who you or others thought you should be. Just honor who you are now, and what feels true for you in the present moment. Allow yourself to shift and evolve in ways that feel natural and right for you. You define who you are, and no one else. You create your own story, and you are the co-creator of your life. Express and live in ways that feel authentic to you. Liberate yourself. Authenticity is key to confidence. So own it. Click here for more on how.
9. Know Your Worth
Nothing you do ever truly makes you unworthy of love or unable to access it. Love is the essence of your being. Remember, you can never lose what you are. We are the gods and goddesses breathing life, passion, purpose, truth, and love into every environment we step into. You are an embodied powerful force of love and creation, and the creator of your own reality. You choose the course and the way in which you decide to show up in the world. And once you decide to do so from an authentic place of love and acceptance of self, nothing can touch you.
10. Release the Need to be Fearless
By the way, being fearless doesn’t matter. Everyone has fears. Every single person that you admire has some fear or insecurity they work with. What matters is how you respond to it. Do you let fear hold you back? Or, do you use fear to challenge you to expand and learn something new about yourself or the world? It’s not fear that’s the problem, it’s what you choose to do when fear arises. Because you’re human, fear is just a natural part of human nature. It’s there for a reason, and can be used to protect you and inspire you to grow. It doesn’t have to limit you if you choose not to let it. You have the power to challenge it, and to use to empower you.
So again, it’s not about whether or not you have fear, the key is to move forward anyway. Move in the direction of your purpose and truth in spite of it. It’s okay to have fears, but choosing to live an empowered life means showing up anyway; because you know that beyond the other side of it lies the possibility of greater freedom.
Self Confidence Journal Prompts
- What limiting beliefs have been stopping you from standing in your power and truth?
- What powerful choice do you feel like you’re being called or drawn to make?
- What’s the next empowering choice you can make to cultivate a deeper sense of self confidence?
- What decision will you make today to liberate yourself?
- If you were your most confident self what would you be doing right now, and why aren’t you?
